Warning: I am feeling chatty... long post!

My blog has been a bit sterile lately.

I have been so house focused that I haven't spent much time talking about what is going on with "us"!

I am using this post to talk about Carson (with sprinkles of Kenedey :-) too), I know all of you (meaning family) get a kick out of me struggling so much with managing my SON!!! Yeah this post will not be anything out of the ordinary, but let me just say we are coming off from a long weekend of his whining and complaining... NOT good times.

Ok, we love this kid, he is spirited, fun, loving (sometimes), and a "true boy". But.... we need some help!!!!

Whining is one of the biggest problems as of lately. I know we are well on our way to terrible twos. Jason and I were having a conversation in the car today about how important to us it is that our kids are respectful of first themselves and then obviously others. Disrespect is just something we are not willing to tolerate. Now the respecting himself will come in time, but right now he is NOT Mr. nice guy to others. When I ask him to say hello to people he has just been doing nothing. I will admit sometimes he is friendly, but the majority of the time he's really not. This is almost painful for me to write because that's how important this subject is to me. I want to teach him to say hello, shake hands with people, and a friendly goodbye. Now the goodbye part is fine. He will blow kisses, kiss family, wave, and very nicely say, "bye bye", maybe even an "Love you". My inlaws met us at the house the other day to look at it and he was downright rude to them. Usually he is crazy about his Nana, but nope he was just rude. We went to visit a friend the other night, someone who is very important to me (hi Ellen) and he again was a royal pain. Took dirt out of a plant and threw it on her deck, didn't say hello, took off to an area of the house where I asked him not to go. Just defiant. I HAVE to nip this in the butt quickly.

I want to add a little history here for my readers who don't really "know us". Our daughter is seriously almost the perfect child. She has always been friendly to stangers, very respectful of others and their property, all the things you would expect from a good kid. Well I always felt like, we are tough on her and expect these types of things from her and that must be why we have such a "good kid". Well, I am now a hypocrite. I have judged other parents and been annoyed with them when their kids are awful. I now can truly say I understand that despite some parents honest and true efforts some rotten kids aren't that way entirely just because of their parents. Carson isn't rotten don't get me wrong. It's just tough to enjoy him. Also don't get me wrong I do realize some parents have very ineffective tools and are not consistent with discipline.

We went to Menard's today. He was SUCH A PAIN. He didn't want to sit in the cart. He threw himself on the floor in the carpet area, screamed, whined and it NEVER.STOPPED. The service sucked and we were trying to deal with him so we just left and went to the much better serviced Home Depot. At Home Depot he wanted to play in the automatic doors, ok only natural, we let him experience that for a while and then said ok, all done, lets go. Well again this was a reason for a fit. More whining. I had to pick him up and fight him kicking and pinching all the way to the car. I threw him in his seat, strapped him in and that ended that. He was better at Home Depot. They had a race car cart that he could "drive", but that only lasted for awhile. After he napped today he was such a brat, he just walked around and whined. We were even outside playing and chasing him and playing with other kids and whaddya know... Carson was whining!
I took him to the store with me this evening and he whined all the way there, and all the way back. He doesn't want to ever get in the car, and even sometimes doesn't want to get out. Ugh.

There are two thing I can do when I am at my limit that usually at least gives me a break. I can put him in his bed and just make him sit there until his tude' changes or sometimes when he is really whiny for no reason if I put on a movie that he really likes he will sit and watch that. As far as actual discipline goes, we have found that setting in "time out" does work. I have to work VERY hard to keep him there. He will stay for Jason, but Jason has to actually yell at him to get him to stay. I don't have that rough, stern, mean voice. I am working on that. Usually mine just makes him whine more. I have really considered spanking. I can't even believe that because I spanked Kenedey MAYBE 2 times ever. My rule is and will always be, if I am spanking because I am angry... I WONT do it. If I am doing it because I think it could get his attention and produce worthy results then I don't mind trying it. I think he is at the age where he gets the cause and effect thing so I think if I have to resort to that (i'd rather not) he could maybe understand that as a consequence. Yelling is out of the question for me. I am not a yeller and don't want to start being one. I want to have effective tools I can use when we are at other people's home and I am loosing control of my two year old.... THAT WORK.

I know this kid needs structure and stimulation and I try very hard to accomadate those needs. We do fun things with him and don't expect him to behave perfectly by any means but I would like things to at least improve. I think I might start thinking about running away if they don't and I just wouldn't do that to my kids! So I guess the alternative is we must try to resolve some of this! Any of you have any suggestions you might offer? I am off to look on the net for some solutions to decrease whining and increase effective discipline!!!