Yucky Day

Well today pretty much sucked. I got up with Carson when Jason went to work at 7 and we stayed up until 9. Then he went down for a morning nap. So I decided I would too. SIX HOURS later my cousin was in my room yelling at me to WAKE UP. My other cousin had been trying to get ahold of me all day (she had Kenedey). I never heard the phone, the neighborhood kids knocking on the door for Kenedey or my cousin come in to wake me up. Apparently most of my family was worried about me. Thank GOD they were and came to check on me. I first of all feel horrible because Carson was in bed for all those hours. I have NO IDEA if he woke up and cried or if he actually slept. I am generally a light sleeper especially when my kids are around. I think what happened is yesterday I took so many different pain meds trying to get rid of my neck pain and they just caught up to me. I could kick myself and I have HUGE mommy guilt because of Carson, everything logically says he was just fine and its possible that he actually slept most of the time, but I still feel like he was here in his bed all alone. Ugh... what an awful feeling. I have never had anything like this happen to me.

My neck is still super painful, I just wish my head would fall off then maybe it would feel better. Im annoyed because my house is pretty much a disaster area because I havent been up to tending to it since before my surgery. Jason is wiped out from starting a new job thats physical, so its 7pm and he's in bed. Im mad about that because seriously do you know how many times I wanted to come home from work and go to bed but didnt because my family needed me. Ugh. Married LIFE. I guess I just need to be understanding and remember it takes a lot out of you to start a new job. Yeah im not feelin it... sympathy that is! I said to him what the heck are you doing in bed, get up you wouldnt let me sleep after work. He said I didnt work as hard as him. Now thats messed up, thats when my sympathy went out the window.

Well sorry to depress/bore all of you with this crappy day! Here are some cute pics of Carson from yesterday hope you enjoy!